The
Jet
My intention for this page is
to tell you a little about the jet itself rather than what it's like to fly.
Personality
Believe or not, each jet seems to have its
own personality. Each individual aircraft has its quirks that make it seem
more alive than a mere collection of mechanical parts would suggest. After
flying Bones for three years now, I can understand how airmen in World War Two
became so attached to their B-17s. While we don't have our "own"
assigned airplanes like they did in WW2, our squadron does have its own set of
aircraft. Of my 750+ hours in the Bone, it seems like I've flown most of
those hours in just 4-5 different tails. When we fly we are assigned a
different tail (slang for jet) to fly each time. The
maintainers schedule this based on jet availability so as to keep the number of
flight hours even on all of our tails plus allow for downtime for extended
maintenance to be performed.
We refer to the jets by their tail number usually and
occasionally by their name as given by their noseart. For example, one of
my favorite jets, "Boss Hawg" is 84-0051 (the first two digits refer
to the year the contract was let to build the jet). We usually abbreviate
the tail numbers to for digits, i.e. 4051. Boss Hawg was our last Block C
(no GPS, no JDAM) jet and was renown as a very reliable jet. It always got
scheduled as a spare because every other jet on the ramp would break, but the
Hawg would always get off the ground. Unfortunately, Boss Hawg will never
fly again as it's been sent to the Air Force Museum. The other '83 and '84 year jets
don't fly so well. They were all custom made whereas the '85/'86 models
were more standardized. As a result the jets built later have more flying
hours than the early jets, opposite of what you would think. Boss Hawg was
the notable exception. It does, however, share one trait with its early
brothers in that the ECS (environment conditiong system) is very weak due the
pipes being individually routed and crafted. You really sweat your tail
off in the summer when you get into an early year Bone...
Another one of my favorites is 6123 "Let's
Roll". I flew here in a Weapons School support mission against some
F-16s and his Defensive Avionics System did an outstanding job. Time and
time again on that trip, whenever he'd fly, the F-16 pilots would complain of
heavy jamming from him but not from the other two jets we had with us.
Don't know why, maybe all the successive miracles were happening just right, but
he worked really well.
I've also have a lot of time in 6103 "Reluctant
Dragon". It was in this jet, that I went to the Mildenhall, UK and
Izmir, Turkey airshows last year. For some reason, he had a bad
radar. Whenever you tried to take a High Resolution radar patch, it would
give garbage back. Normally we can take a good hi-res patch 30-60 degrees
off either side of the nose. For some reason, you could only take a decent
patch from 50-60 degrees with this tail. That severely hampered our
ability to employ weapons or take radar updates for the navigation system.
Several months later, the maintainers fixed the problem and it now takes the
sharpest, most clear hi-res patches of any tail we have. Wierd...
The
Dragon at Cigli AB, Turkey and during OEF
I also like flying in 6135 "Deadly Intentions"
as it has so much history. It flew two combat sorties in Operation DESERT
FOX and numerous ones in OEF. Kinda cool to fly a jet that's dropped so
much iron on the bad guys...
Random Thoughts
One thing that I've noticed is
that after being around the Bone for a while, you forget what a big aircraft it
is. To me, it seems normal-sized.
It's only when I'm doing my preflight walk around and look up at the horizontal
stabilizers (tail planes) and see that they are bigger than F-16 wings, do
I remember how big it is.
Another thing that strikes most people when they see a Bone
for the first time is how un-pristine it is. Given how "high
tech" it is, its cost, and it's complexity/intricacy, you'd think it would
be immaculate, smooth, sterile, etc. Instead, it's more like a big piece
of heavy construction equipment with leaking hydraulic fluid, dirt, oil, chipped
paint, etc. They do get washed occasionally but the dirt and oil is never
gone for long. The cockpit is also a mess because aviators, being so
childlike, leave crumbs and spilled soda and never clean up after
themselves. My personal pet peeve is when other WSOs leave fingerprints
all over the computer/radar screens in the back. Man, we are a bunch of
slobs... :)
Modeler's Notes:
The B-1 models I've seen depicted the ejection seats as been painted red. A few years ago we received new seats cushions that are black sheepskin. The head rest and arm rests (which no one ever uses incidentally) remain red. Also, one model I've seen shows the a bay fuel tank in the aft bay. It is never carried in the aft bay because of center of gravity concerns. If carried, it's carried in the forward bay. The only way we'd carry a bank tank in the aft bay would be if we carried 3 tanks at once.
Ten Things I Love About the
B-1 and Flying
1. It's a beautiful jet: No matter
whether you like or not, you have to it admit it's a damned fine looking
airplane
2. It's fast: Nothing like being able to get the hell out of Dodge
in a hurry when you need to...
3. It's a crew jet: Having four brains and two sets of eyes up
front gives us the ability to take on a high workload.
4. The Bone Community: Great bunch of dudes and laid back for the most
part. We excel at our jobs but we're not jerks about it. I've seen
other communities where the WSOs are 5th class citizens or the navs stab each
other in the back. The Bone WSO Union is strong...
5. The ECM System: Awesome piece of gear. It'll save our hide if we
roll into bad guy land again, just as it did during ALLIED FORCE.
6. JDAM: Lots of JDAMs, more than anyone else. JDAM is like
crack cocaine to the planning staffs- they can't get enough of it.
Hard-hitting, all weather, near precision capability. Contrary to popular
belief it's actually an INS guided
weapon, not GPS guided. The GPS aides the INS.
7. Ejection Seat: Hey, if I don't like what the pilots or the
airplane are doing, I get one vote...
8. The Radar: Allows me to "see" much far than the eye
can. We have an awesome radar and we can pick out targets at unbelievable
distances. Sometimes when we're flying high level drone at night, I'll
stand up front behind the pilots to take a break. It doesn't take long, as strange
as it sounds, of staring into the black void for me to want to go look at the
radar again to see what's around us.
9. Co-pilots: Whenever I feel bad about being a WSO, I can just
pick on the co-pilot... Normally, the aircraft commanders help us pick on
them too.
10. Bombs in Anger: After watching 9/11 unfold on TV like everyone
else, to be able to personally pay those punks back with iron on target makes me
proud. This is what it's all about.
Ten Things I Don't Like About the
B-1 and Flying
1. Abilene: I don't like small towns...
2. Rapid City, South Dakota: ...or even smaller towns. The locals
are really patriotic in both places and they give us great support but the
social scene leaves a lot to be desired.
3. The WSO Windows: I'd love to thump the person that designed that
thing. It's way too small for no good reason. It could have easily
been four times larger so that it was useful for something besides a day/night
indicator.
4. The Ladder: The bane of Bone WSOs everywhere. Must have
been made with the cheapest parts they could find. Every time you're
running late, you can be sure the ladder is gonna give you trouble coming
up. It uses a bicycle chain to raise it!
5. WSO Controls and Displays: A prime example of how not to do
human factors engineering. The stuff we have takes up too much real estate
and doesn't provide enough situation awareness. Lot of it is confusing and
is full of little gotchas, especially the software. Guess that's why it
takes so long for us to train. Also, a better design could have chopped
the panel in half so that we could actually see forward.
6. Global Power missions: Flying 24+ hours nonstop gets
painful. Actually any flight over 8 hours starts to get bad.
Something in the 4-6 hour range is OK. But fly only an hour or two and it
seems like you never get warmed up.
7. BDU-33 practice bombs: They are so inaccurate it's not a good
test of either the jet or your OSO skills. The slipstream from the jet
really messes up their trajectory. Furthermore, we have a lot of problems
with false hung stores indications with these. Wish we could just drop the
BDU-50 500lb concrete practice bombs instead. Those simulate the Mk-82 500
lb bombs and go where you aim them. But BDU-33s are cheap so we get more of
those than we do of the much preferable BDU-50.
8. Pubs Changes: Pure drudgery. Every time you get a new
change posted in your technical orders, something new comes along and you got
post that too. Never ends.
9. Aircraft Commanders Who Don't Help Load Their Own Stuff Into The Jet:
A good AC helps the rest of us load the multitude of bags, helmets, data
cartridges, etc. Believe me, a Bone crew going out on a 6 hour
mission looks like a family of 12 going on a week long vacation with all our
junk. And then for the AC to wonder off to do the walk around without
helping! Damn, just because you're not a copilot anymore, doesn't mean
that you are better than the rest of us peasants. :)
10. OSO ECS feet blowers: Whenever you sit in the OSO seat,
you freeze your feet off. There are Environmental Control System vents
positioned to blow cold air at your feet and they do a good job of making you
feel like your feet are in a tub of ice. To alleviate this, you have to
con the DSO into turning up the heat. Unfortunately, one's feet don't get
cold in that seat so if one turns the heat up to the satisfaction of the OSO,
one is usually sweating. Just another minor idiosyncrasy with the jet.
Standard Disclaimer applies, i.e. the above is
all my opinion and not the government's...
The
Dragon at Cigli AB, Turkey and during OEF